Some things I have learned as a father, a man and a human being…
Being a “hard worker” may not be the same as producing results. Are you interested in compiling a laundry list of things done, or do you have examples of how you have improved, progressed, assisted others and yourself? What is it about you that is uniquely you, that no one can do better than you? Lots of painters out there, only one Picasso. Like him or not, no one in his occupation rises to the challenge like Tom Brady does. We all have that friend that is loads of fun to hang out with, but when it’s time to get your hands dirty, to show support, is no where to be found. I don’t wanna be that kinda guy.
Uncomfortableness may mean you’re on the right track. Trying something new, taking a chance, committing to a goal – our kids needs to see that. How can we tell our children that they need to study, to ask questions to make sure they get the right answer, if we don’t do the same? Taylor likes it when we are doing “research” on a topic, no matter how small, until we find an answer – The place with the best pizza, The lowest price for new Vans, The answer to how long does the average German Shepard live. Getting my MBA a couple of years ago led to Taylor seeing me study for school, just like her, after work, and sacrificing going to the movies, getting up early and turning down other invites, when I knew I had to be prepared for an exam. The day I graduated (I’m on the Honor Society, thank you), Taylor said she could not stop smiling – and guess who is consistently on the honor roll in middle school these days.
Speaking of Vans…Dads, stop buying your toddlers $50 Air Jordans if they get excited about $9.99 Paw Patrol sneakers at WalMart. The little people have plenty of time to get materialistic when they get to Middle School, and the most important thing in their lives at that time is their family. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Don’t forget the little things. Your wife’s/daughter’s favorite chocolate bar when it’s that time of the month. Unexpectedly saying “Let’s go to our favorite restaurant” after a stressful day/week. Turning off the game to watch a Lifetime movie with your wife or Paddington 2 with the kids (a great movie, BTW). “Please”, “Thank You”, “That looks great on you”, and the one I forget the most, “Your hair looks great today.” Be like Donald Trump in a press conference with your kids – tell them they are the most qualified, that they have a smart brain, that whatever they do may result in the best plan ever.
Dads can be the butt of jokes, but that’s OK. Homer Simpson has worked at the power plant for about 30 years, and Marge does not work, so Homer is handling his business. Some things dads do ARE funny – Losing our minds during sports programs, Trying to dance based on the decade when we were in our 20s, Wearing enough cologne to run everyone out the house, cussing when we just made a sammich and drop the sammich accidentally on the floor, which is scooped up by the dog. If I had all I think I wanted – an opulent home, a fleet of F150s, an 80-inch 4K TV, fried chicken at the snap of my fingers – but no one to share my joy of accomplishments, or to motivate me when I feel defeated – it would be lousy. Being a good dad may mean that you need your family just as much as your family needs you. Being a dad with a blended family means you create experiences, trust and relationships with people who are not your “blood” but have made a significant impact on your life, and you don’t want to imagine life without them. It’s the same with good friends, or as Lisa would say, Marley and me.
And stop eating all those cold cuts – the sodium is not good for you. Have a great day.
From the Desk of Daddy D 