Hello everyone.
My stepdaughter Dawn will be 25 years old this year, which makes me 32 years old when she was born. According to a report on National Public Radio, the average age for first time dads (based on the past 20 years) is 30.9. My daughter Taylor will be 13 this year, and I was 44 at her birth. Taylor is the “miracle baby”, after being told by numerous physicians that my low sperm count would prevent Taylor from being conceived. I did not use special medicines, wear customized boxer briefs or spend time in Sri Lanka with a visualization guru to get my tadpole downstream. Taylor’s birth does correspond to some time I spent with Lisa at Disney World; for me Disney World is truly the happiest place on earth.
A couple of weeks ago, Lisa, Taylor and I went to the funeral of a friend whose father recently passed. The church where the homegoing was held was located on a steep incline; the one time I needed my Air Max for performance reasons, I was in dress shoes. The funeral was brief (I’ve been to some funerals that run longer than a double feature of Titanic and Lord of the Rings) and had emotional moments from family and friends who new the recently deceased well. Lisa had second thoughts about taking Taylor to the funeral (it was her first), and it was a Sunday. We were able to go to dinner together afterward – Dawn was at her Uber job, and the church was about 40 miles from home.
For a couple of days afterward, I did not put two and two together when Taylor was acting a bit off kilter, asking questions like “Why did you and mom have me?”, and Taylor getting very upset when I stretched out my arm to swat a mosquito and a sharp pain went down the right side of my body. I was in a locked position for about 20 seconds; the first time THAT ever happened.
Taylor ultimately admitted that she had fears regarding being in a family of “old parents” (Ouch. But true). Folks like Richard Gere, Mick Jagger and Eddie Murphy have babies in their 50s, 60s and 70s (past 50s to me is nut-nut). Movie stars, rock legends and CEOs have the legacy and money to make sure their progeny has a secure future if the old man kicks the bucket before the kid gets past middle school. But what about middle-class me? I told Taylor this:
Unlike Marley, Mr. Peanut and Moo (the family dogs), human beings are aware of their mortality, that they will not live forever – but like Marley, Mr. Peanut and Moo, we do not know the exact day, time and year of our death. Taylor’s dad and/or mom could have died when she was still a toddler, or we may live until we’re 100. My dad and mom are both alive and in their 80s, cracking jokes on each other every day.
Taylor truly is a gift from God to me. I was told I would not be able to help create a life, and Taylor proved them wrong. Taylor’s middle name is Joy, selected by Lisa on the spot when the nurses asked for a complete name for the baby (we had already decided on Taylor Maree). Taylor is intelligent (like her daddy, yuk yuk) and is also athletic in her youth, playing on the volleyball team and beating me in games of horse. I did not have good coordination until I went to college, which resulted in me being picked last for a lot of softball, football, basketball and dodgeball games during elementary and high school.
While Dawn has a possible future as a high-level Salesperson/Negotiator, Taylor is emphatic, and can identify when someone needs assistance, is having a bad day, or may not be able to afford the $30 seafood dinner and is OK with the 5 for $5 at Wendy’s til payday. Taylor has the potential to be a great leader, and has been able to engage with diverse groups, although she can also be shy…heck, most movie stars say they’re shy on the inside.
Most important – no matter how challenging life gets, Taylor is a reason I keep going, getting hit by life and getting back up. I realize that Lisa played an indispensable part in creating and raising the miracle baby, and Dawn is in my corner more times than I realize. Taylor and Dawn help me “stay young,” make me laugh, let me know to keep taking my medicine on schedule, get my exercise in regularly, and continue my goal setting for my career so I can experience their successes and assist them with their areas of opportunity.
Like the TV commercial says, by the time you have the second baby, you know the right kind of diapers to buy. I didn’t know how else to end this. Have a great week.
PS – If I could be like Patrick Stewart and look like 50 for 20 years that would be straight.
From the Desk of Daddy D 